ACCIDENT

A couple weeks ago I went thru the most traumatic event I have thus had the pleasure to experience.  It was more than unpleasant.  I was involved in a horrific accident.  I have since had the opportunity to re-evaluate all that encompasses my existence. 


I am reminded of the scene from "fight club" where Brad Pitt has a gun to a store clerks head and he asks what the man wanted out of life.  The man wanted something completely different from where he was in his life at that exact moment.  And during that moment of insanity and near death experience he had clarity.  He realized that he wasn't where he truly wanted to be. 


I have been thinking so much the past couple of weeks.  I am facing that same question.  I came so close to death but I didn't die.  So many things could have gone completely wrong.  I could have been painted into a corner that I did not design for myself knowingly.  I could have had my freedom and life taken away. 

We all truly live in the moments.  Just a moment.  It could have all been smeared away in just a moment. 

Why me?  Why did this happen?  Why did I have to go thru this?  Was I given a gift?  Am I suppose to be thinking these thoughts as they come into my skull?  Is this my chance to jump out of this existence that I call my life?  (the priceless question of...)  Why??????......


I sometimes feel like I am over analyzing these things.  Am I?  Anyone who has ever been in this circumstance knows this feeling but never truly knows the answer.


I feel ALIVE!! I feel REGUVINATED!  I AM! 


I am.. 


What a statement.  The statement.  I am battling my own now.  I am trying to figure out my future and my present with a blank map.  I feel like I have to start over.   I am at the base of a beautiful mountain that has no pathway cut.  I am going to have to take that step into the unknown only to realize I was thrust into the middle of the void. 


I do have to say... This experience has brought out the best and the worst in my life.  I have come to realize that I am truly surrounded by loved ones.  I have had such support and caring come my way.  I have grasped and held onto the love and support.  I have created long lasting forever bonds.  NO one can take that away from me.  I am so blessed!  I am so humbled by the compassion and understanding that has come to me.  I don't want to let go.  I can't imagine my life without you now.


I said before and I mean now more than ever!  I know where I am.  At this moment.  I am in the moment.  I am living in the moment now.  I don't know how I will get there but I know where I want to be.

Let all your moments be wonderful!